Humor: Nikon D3 Press Release

Monday, August 20th, 2007 (Tokyo) — Nikon Corp. of Japan this morning unveiled their newest digital SLR targeted toward professionals, the Nikon D3. But while Nikon maintains that the D3 is a groundbreaking development in the world of digital imaging, photographers and analysts alike seem to be scratching their heads.
“It’s a brick, a frickin’ brick,” said an obviously agitated Tommy Hogan, professional photographer.
“Yes, it’s a brick,” admitted Nikon President, CEO and COO Michio Kariya. “However, research showed us that we were rapidly losing market share in the professional realm to Canon. Here at Nikon, we’re not so prideful that we refuse to admit when we’re wrong. If photographers want a camera like Canon offers, we’ll build a camera like Canon offers. In this case, the brick was the closest we could come to achieving the ergonomics found in Canon’s 5D.”
Jerry Yamamoto, Nikon’s Chief Designer, had a different take. “Today, it seems that more and more of our customers are using their gear to photograph brick walls. Nikon cameras have always been about transcending the equipment—the camera becoming part of your environment. It’s easier to think artistically when you aren’t using a tool that seems out of place. The brick design of the D3 is part of a move toward better fusion with the photographer’s surroundings.”
But the brick design isn’t the only feature of the D3 that has left potential customers scratching their heads. The D3 will be Nikon’s first digital SLR that prevents the user from changing lenses. “I don’t get it,” Nikon enthusiast Rory Bjornlett said. “How is that supposed to be a ‘feature’?” Kariya had the answer.
“By shipping the D3 with the lens welded to the body, we’ve eliminated the sensor dust problem. In fact, we guarantee that you will never get dust on the sensor for the life of the camera. And now, you can order exactly the camera you want. Your D3 can be customized with a wide assortment of Nikon and even third-party lenses. Just tell us what you want, and we’ll weld it to the camera and ship it to your door within a couple of weeks.”
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Tomorrow afternoon, 23 Aug 07, we will see what is this brick!